Growing up my mom always gave me a voice when it came to decorating my own space. I loved the color red, so my sweet daddy painted every bedroom I lived in dark red. When I got married, my space expanded (not by much) but needless to say there were a lot more decisions to be made (silverware, cups, curtains, bedding…the list could go on). One of the most challenging things was realizing I had an opinion but I didn’t quite know what it was. Then it turns out my husband had an opinion too. At first this was challenging, I struggled with how to voice my opinion out of fear that it was the wrong one. Since then I have learned to speak up more because I know he loves me regardless of our differences of opinions. As a newlywed, when choosing a color scheme, I went with the most obvious–RED! When you included sage and mocha, I found lots of affirmation because apparently I wasn’t the only one. For years, I enjoyed my red, green, and brown colors. I would work all day and then come home and settle into my cozy space that I called home.
When I became a mom and decided to put my career on the back burner, I found myself suddenly at home…a lot. What used to feel cozy and comfortable, now it felt dark and a bit of a downer to me. This was a bit disappointing because I had spent years collecting what I thought was a cohesive look in my home and now I didn’t even like it. When I was working, I appreciated the cozy space at night. But when I was at home all day, I found myself craving a light and fresh look. I began looking at things that I had thought were ‘lifetime furniture pieces’ and wondering what they would look like repainted or how much I could get for them on Craigslist. I found myself feeling guilty for wanting to redesign, but I didn’t know why.
In my mind, my home was an expression of me, but somehow I didn’t like the way it looked anymore. I had made purchases with the idea that I would have these forever. Why? Because they were timeless, or so I thought. Slowly but surely I began to edit. I began actually thinking about the value of these “things” in my home and questioning why I held onto them so tightly, especially now that I didn’t even like them anymore. My taste had changed. I had changed. I had hoped to decorate my house and someday get a sense of accomplishment. With this new direction, this expectation seemed further away than when I started.
Then we moved. This was my chance to really change the look of my home. Granted, this didn’t mean that I could go out and buy my dream everything. But this time, I knew more of what I wanted. I knew the direction I was trying to go, and I was more willing to embrace the process rather than just trying to ‘finish’ the look.
We often set out with a goal in mind and we are so focused on meeting the goal, that we don’t even realize that the course has changed. Whether it’s financial goals, weight loss goals, career goals, or even family goals, things don’t usually end up looking the way we thought they would. Sometimes our goals are unrealistic or just not the right time.
Life changes us, so we need to be ready to change. We can’t expect our goals, our strengths and expectations to never change. Things rarely play out the way we think they should. Sometimes we need to re-evaluate and make a new game plan. Maybe you haven’t lost the X amount of pounds that you had intended to lose. Maybe your family situation didn’t turn out the way you had pictured it. Maybe you’ve tried to build your savings but just can’t get ahead. Or maybe your house is not as organized or decorated as you would like it to be. Regardless of what it is, there is hope that it can change.
Down the road the path often looks incredibly different then it did from the start. It’s ok to recognize when something in life needs a redesign or a fresh look. It may be the very thing that takes us to the place we had always intended.
Graceformoms.com is a great example. We started out wanting to just be a voice that extended grace to moms. We don’t claim to have all the answers, but we wanted a space that was comfortable for conversations about motherhood. Re-designing the site was not just for looks. It represents a new direction and passion for this to be a community that talks about all aspects of our lives-as mothers, friends, and women. We hope you will join the conversation, share your story, find your voice and discover beYOUtiful grace.
What in your life could use a re-design, a new plan, or a fresh look?