Screaming follows me down the hallway as my steps move faster toward my bedroom. For 30 minutes our 3 kids have taken turns melting down and screaming my name. Nothing will satisfy them but me. Milk cups, new pajamas, a snack, help with homework. When one is settled, another begins. No one will satisfy them but me. I look at my husband desperately and he shoos me to our room to take a 10 minute break.
Muffled yells of “mama” sneak through the cracks of the shut door.
I sigh, take a deep breath, and pray.
I tap on the music on my phone and turn it up a bit.
“Lord, help me,” my heart cries out.
A quiet peace and words rest on me. “Oh my dear, they are only satisfied with you. Their cries and tears show their desperation for you. Time with you. Your presence. Your love. Take this in. This is how you should feel about me. Nothing will satisfy you but Me. My time. My presence. My love. Oh to have you seek me so, and not only in times of desperation, but times of joy.”
Oh that I would be satisfied only in Christ.
Oh how so often I grab a piece of chocolate or flip through my Instagram feed to find a bit of escape, before the bedtime rush continues.
But no, those things cannot satisfy.
Just as I am empty from all of the demands of motherhood, work, marriage… Jesus whispers to me one line from a message he gave to many on a mountainside a few thousand years ago.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6 NASB
Satisfied. Content. Enough. Filled.
Jesus will fill us when we come to Him. Jesus alone will satisfy the feelings of exhaustion, hunger, or whatever we need.
When is the last time you’ve felt satisfied, content, enough, filled? At home? At work? In relationships?
Now when my kids are screaming my name and I am feeling empty I have this image of how I need to only accept Jesus as my true satisfaction and not my chai tea latte or a Netflix re-run. Who or what do I run to first? Am I running to those things to satisfy? They won’t. They never will. Only Jesus will. Living from a content, satisfied heart is where Christ wants us and where my kids need me to be.
What about you? Are you running, like me, to something other than Jesus to satisfy your needs? What can you do today to choose to be satisfied in him?
Virginia is a story teller; a woman living each moment by the grace of God. She’s a brain tumor surviving, PDS healing, wife, mother and teacher. Above it all, she is a daughter of Christ, seeking to live these moments on earth for the Glory of God, and to share with others what Jesus has done. She says, “He has set me free. He has healed me over and over again. He has taken my shame and given my heart a song.” Connect with Virginia on her blog.