My husband and I met in college. I was a freshmen and he was a junior. We married just after I graduated and this year we will celebrate 13 years.
When I look back over our 4 years of dating and each year of our marriage, I think about many happy things like our first home, vacations we’ve taken, and the beautiful memories we have from both times we were given the chance to bring another life into this world. These moments we’ve shared are the ones I cherish and hold so close to my heart. I pray as our boys grow they will hear us tell them about these moments and bury the happiness we have from them deep within their hearts. I hope someday the thought of a place we’ve visited or a song we liked will make them smile and remind them of the deep, rich heritage of love we are trying so hard to establish in our family.
But there are some moments. . .hard ones. Ones that hurt my heart so bad. I hope they never have to carry the weight and pain of those moments. Those moments undoubtedly can all be traced back to sin my husband and I both let into our hearts. In our marriage we’ve hurt one another. There have been times we have not put the other first and those circumstances have left a mark. That’s what married people do. But the reasons to hang on and stick together are far greater than the ones to walk away.
We’ve talked about how much and what kind of details we need to share with our boys about the hard parts of our lives. The bad choices and painful memories are just as much a part of our story as the beautiful pieces of “us” are. Certainly being discerning and prayerful is a huge part of our strategy in sharing these not so wonderful pieces of our puzzle. There’s a reason it’s important for them to know that the ground under their feet isn’t all green and full of beautiful flowers. If there is any beauty at all, it’s because at one point the field in which they were planted was in need of tilling and planting and watering. And that required us to bring our broken pieces to the One that could make something from nothing. We hope to be living, breathing examples of the forgiveness and restoration that will always be available to our boys no matter what choices they make in their lives.
[Tweet “Our children must know that grace and mercy abound in the place they were rooted. #familystory #sharegrace”]
I want to share the whole story with our children. Because they must know that grace and mercy abound in the place they were rooted. They must see the redemption that made the broken places beautiful.
My prayer as we share these parts of our story is this:
Lord, help us share the broken and hurtful parts of our story enough for our children to see who You are. And may Your light shine bright in every chapter of our family story.
Does your family story include some difficult details? How are you handling those parts of the telling with your children?
main photo via unsplash.com | text graphic via wordswag/pixabay