We came home that day a family of four. After two years of struggle and loss we had fought the battles and won the war for our children. It was July 4th and so fitting that we would exhale on that day, free to now live and grow together, without battles to fight to see promises fulfilled. My miracle boy and I sat quietly inside while the rest of our loved ones watched fireworks in our front yard. They marveled at each sparkle and boom as I marveled at the faithfulness of God and my freedom from infertility and loss.
Shortly after our first miscarriage, as I questioned God and what to do next a dear friend said to me, “When you know the Lord has said it’s time to start a family, you do everything you can to fight for it.” And so we fought. For two years before we welcomed our sweet girl, and another two before meeting our son. Each season filled with battles lost in the flesh but won in our hearts as we pressed on until that glorious freedom day when we felt his pleasure and his peace over our family.
Tomorrow we celebrate my little firecracker’s 4th birthday, and Saturday will mark four years since we came home on July 4th, 2011. We have so much freedom to celebrate this week.
And yet. . .seven years into my journey of motherhood and I feel everything but free. I suppose I expected to be so thankful; so incredibly, desperately grateful that I even got to be a mother that I wouldn’t be weighed down by the responsibility of it. I just knew I’d be a great mom because I fought so hard to become one. I know I’m a good mom and I know I don’t have to be perfect. But I want to be free.
Free from the guilt I feel when I mess up.
Free from comparison that tells me I’m not good enough.
Free from the weight of believing I have to do it a certain way.
Free from busyness which keeps me from loving myself and my loved ones well.
Free from the bad mood that clouds my head and my heart most days.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32 NIV
I am familiar with the truth. I’ve been taught it for almost 40 years now. But hearing the truth and knowing it so that it transforms us are two very different things. At times in my life I have walked in truth, allowing it to change me. I never dreamed a role as sacred as motherhood could drive me so far away from life altering truth.
The more we lose ourselves as moms, the more we lose sight of the truth that transforms.
As mothers we lay our lives down daily for others. We put their needs before our own and if we aren’t fully aware of the process, we end up losing ourselves in the midst of it. The more we lose ourselves, functioning on auto pilot most days, the more we lose sight of the truth that transforms.
This has been my cycle. This has been the new war I must wage. I am fighting a battle between the truth and the lies of motherhood. And so are you. But we don’t have to fight alone. What soldier goes to war without a company of others?
We are fighting a battle between the truth and the lies of motherhood.
Together we can win this war and experience freedom as moms. Our greatest strategy is each other; our greatest weapon the truth of the Word. Truth that tells us:
Truth: We don’t have to do it perfectly.
From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16 ESV
Truth: We were made with a beautiful uniqueness and we were appointed to be the mother of our children.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT
Truth: As I look to God for direction, he will show me his way for me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Truth: Neither God or my children require my busyness. When I learn to rest, I am better equipped to love well.
Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
Truth: The joy of the Lord is our strength.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:7 NIV
And we can hold on to the promise that the truth will set us free because it comes with a guarantee. . .
So if the son sets you free, you are free indeed. John 8:36 NIV
As we gather with loved ones this weekend and thank God for our blessed country and those who have fought for our freedom, I pray we will be inspired to win the war for our own. I pray we’ll lean into one another and fight the good fight together, not comparing ourselves to one another but rather lifting up each beautifully unique soul that contributes to the strength of motherhood.
This is what freedom looks like for moms.
This is what freedom looks like for moms. The ability to free ourselves from every lie that holds us back and march together towards the fullness of life in Christ.
Do you need freedom today? Will you join me in the fight?