If I asked you to give me a quick run-down of your day as a mom, I’m sure there would be more tasks on your agenda than you had time to conquer. And I’m sure you would feel tired just thinking about it—and then you would set out to do it all anyway because you’re MOM. There truly are too many things to be accomplished in one 24-hour period if you have children. It’s constant, and if you’re not careful to stop and breathe fairly often, you will find yourself living in the physical and emotional torment of Survival Mode.
5 Signs You’re in Survival Mode:
- Constant grumpiness.
If you find yourself snapping at your husband and kids more often than not, that’s a pretty good sign you’re in Survival Mode. When you are only reacting to situations around you but not actually directing your thoughts and activities in a proactive way, you are showing signs of base-level living, a.k.a. survival.
- Craving junk food/forgetting to eat.
These two symptoms are telltale signs you are in Survival Mode. Craving sweets and junk food all the time can be your body’s cry for help as it spins out of control. Your body wants to be comforted and food can be a form of self-medicating when times get tough. Forgetting to eat meals during the day also highlights your Survival Mode situation—you could be too busy, too preoccupied in your thoughts, or simply too exhausted to care for yourself.
- Forgetfulness.
If you put your phone in the fridge and the milk in the laundry room, you might just be living in Survival Mode. If you can’t remember your pet’s name or the PIN number for your bank card…or the names of any of your children, you are definitely in it, sister. Your brain and emotions are taxed and they are telling you to just STOP THE MADNESS ALREADY!
- Lack of concern.
When your answer to every question is, “Meh,” and you really couldn’t be bothered to care about the details of your day, you’re cruising through Survival Mode for sure. Walking down the hall to discover your child playing with toilet water and not even doing a double-take, or encountering an exploded bag of flour all over your kitchen floor but just tiptoeing around it—yeah, those are bad signs.
- Fatigue
Being repeatedly short on sleep and filling every waking moment with activity leaves you no option but fatigue. Fatigue is more than being tired from staying out too late one night, more than the romantic notion of a lovely afternoon snooze. I’m talking about feeling painfully tired deep down in your bones, which makes you feel tired in your soul. A lot of moms with newborns are familiar with this feeling, but many others feel stuck in this trap indefinitely. This is a major factor letting you know you are, indeed, living in Survival Mode.
If you could check “yes” to a few of those things, then you might be thinking, “Great. So what can I do about it?” Here are some things that help me put the brakes on the situation for myself and take my life to a healthier place:
- Stop. Breathe. Listen.
Finding yourself in Survival Mode usually means you have forgotten—and thus omitted—basic self-care. Things like being still, sitting quietly, breathing deeply and listening for the Lord must be part of your day at some point or you will begin the spiraling descent into madness.
- Sleep.
It seems like a joke to suggest “more sleep” to a mom in the throes of baby care and child-rearing. So laugh all you want, but you have to find a way to get more sleep. If you can have your husband, family, babysitters and others who care for your children also involved in Project: Mama Needs Some Sleep, you might start to feel more human. Even stringing together 5 solid hours at a time can turn the ogre version of you into a Sleeping Beauty, complete with cheery songs and everything.
- Redirect.
Hanging out in Survival Mode for very long means it is probably time to redirect your route through life. Consider what simple changes you can make that will give you some traction on the road to a healthier place: help with housework; simplifying meal prep and cooking; lowering the expectations you put on yourself; making use of vitamins, supplements and healthy food; scheduling time alone; scheduling time with a friend away from the kids, etc. You can take charge of the direction you are headed, even with a few small adjustments with where you are right now.
- Streamline.
It’s really okay that you cannot get to everything. It’s normal. No mom can do everything! Let yourself be okay with the fact that some things are going to slip through the cracks and be left undone {laundry, grocery shopping, laundry, did I say laundry yet?}. Let those things go and work toward streamlining the tasks and responsibilities that are absolutely essential. Ask for help when you need it! Adding children to the family means that everyone has a new normal and should be part of the inner workings of the family machine, so don’t hesitate to ask older kids, your husband and also extended family members to come pitch in!
If you feel stuck in Survival Mode, take heart. By understanding the situation and making some simple adjustments, you can begin the re-routing process to a healthier, happier place. As you bring your situation to the Lord, He will show you His gentleness and kindness, and He will faithfully lead you every step of the way.
What are some ways you help yourself U-turn out of Survival Mode?
You’re in good company, Jessica! Thanks so much for taking time to comment! I pray that the Lord will show you some secret moments each day where you can sneak away with Him to be filled up with His life and strength as you care for your three precious little ones! Grace and peace to you! <3
I can relate to this 100%. I am definitely inthe survival mode. Each morning it is a struggle to get out of bed. Some mornings I don’t even want to try because I know what they day will become. Like every single day it is trying to survive the chaos that goes on in this house. With three kids pulling on me, crying, pooping, making a huge mess, hungry and needing to eat on top of the destroyed house, dishes piled high, laundry overflowing, washing machine with two day washed clothes, floor a mess. I just don’t know how each day I survive but I do. I am a MOM and I am proud of it. Yes, I whin and complain, Yes, I cry myself to sleep because I am dying to have some “me” time. Yes, I may go days without a bath or my hair not brushed but pulled up in the same pony tail. But I love my children and could not imagine going off to work, dropping them off somewhere majority of the days being raised by someone else. This is my job, my duty as a mom to be there for them, to love them, even if I am in survival mode. I want be there forever and will one day look back wishing I was.