As I’ve been walking through my days lately, I’ve often stopped and wondered how I could have better prepared my heart for baby’s first year. We spend so much time preparing the nursery or the wardrobe, yet there is so much heart prep that should be done before welcoming another life into ours. There are many ways we can focus on getting our heart ready to love and nurture our little ones, but here are the top 5 I felt led to share:
5 Ways to Prepare Your Mother Heart for Baby
1. Learn to be OK with crying. My 11 month old lets me know hourly that he is not happy about the baby jail we’ve created for him in our living room. He’s developed this high pitch, screeching sort of cry that very adequately communicates his disdain for being contained. I’ve had to learn to be OK with his crying because I know that it’s best for him to be contained at certain times of the day. Whether you use a rock to sleep or cry it out method, your baby will also likely cry at some point during nap or bed time routines. To some degree, you simply have to be OK with the crying. Crying and whining put this mother heart over the edge most of the time. If I am not careful, these moments can send me into an emotional tail spin where both of my children receive a less than acceptable response from me. We have to prepare our hearts for these moments so we can handle them properly. And sometimes handling them properly means ignoring the cries. It takes a brave mama heart to ignore the cries of her little one. Begin to teach your heart now how to appropriately respond in these moments. Then take a deep breath and ask God for wisdom in every situation.
2. Learn to let go of your inhibitions. I consider myself a singer. I grew up singing in church and school productions. I’ve sung in front of thousands of people. Yet when my baby girl was born, I couldn’t muster the courage to sing her a lullaby at first. Even now, I struggle to tell her stories without reading them from a book. Perhaps you feel this way too. Whatever our inhibitions, we need to get over them. One of the most precious privileges of being a mama is singing or talking to your little one. Don’t be afraid. Learn to let go. Practice a few songs or stories beforehand if you think you’ll be reserved at first. Think back to those that meant something to you when you were small or ask your mom what songs she used to sing or stories she told. It’s always good to have a repertoire prepared, even for the tiniest of audiences.
3. Learn to stop comparing. Once that baby enters your world, you will be so tempted to compare him to other babies. And you’ll be obsessed with comparing yourself to other mothers. Don’t do it. Prepare your heart now for the temptation that will come and be ready with words of truth and scripture to fight back. Psalm 139 is a wonderful scripture that speaks to the uniqueness of every life. Let the truth of those words be your defense against the comparison trap.
4. Learn to trust. God. Yourself. Your pediatrician. You will go crazy as a mom if you can’t let go and trust those around you. Of course, trust comes with a responsibility to discern what is right vs. what is wrong. But start by acknowledging that a) God is good and trustworthy b) he’s appointed you to mother this life and therefore you are equipped and trustworthy c) if you’ve chosen your doctor carefully and prayerfully then they are trustworthy as well (even if you disagree from time to time). Then ask God for discernment. Raising your child will be a partnership from day one. Whether it’s your spouse, your pediatrician or your own instincts, teach your heart to trust with confidence.
5. Learn that you are “mom enough.” I wouldn’t dare posture my thoughts on last month’s Time Magazine cover about breastfeeding. But the controversy and discussion surrounding it made me realize that there are too many women out there wondering if they are “mom enough.”
YOU ARE MOM ENOUGH because God chose YOU and therefore has EQUIPPED YOU to be MOM TO THIS LIFE.
But you will have to teach your heart to believe this. Through prayer, scripture and the encouragement of those around you {those that you trust but you are not comparing yourself to : )}, you will hopefully come to realize that you are not only “mom enough”, you are the perfect mom for this child.
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11
What are some ways you have been preparing your heart for your baby? Mamas of littles . . .what did you do to prepare your heart before baby arrived?
These are wonderful tips! It’s so hard to prepare yourself for a journey that you’ve not yet taken, but I think learning to trust is key.
Thanks Rachel. You are so right. It’s hard to prepare for something so new. Nothing can truly prepare you fully but it’s good to at least try. : ) Thanks for sharing!