Y’all, I had no idea how exhausting the month of May could be for parents whose kids are in school, until I became a working mom with a kindergartner.
Parties. Mother’s Day celebrations. Recitals. Awards ceremonies. End of the year events. The calendar was full in the homestretch of our first year of balancing school and work in our little family.
Juggling is not a word I like to use. Mothering and working will always go in that order for me – there is no juggling. Still, each day feels like an obstacle course that must be completed in heels and makeup.
As moms do, I spent this last week of the year reflecting on the little boy we sent off to school last August and how much he’s grown since then. This transition has been harder for me than him. It has taken me quite a bit to feel like I am capable and confident about first and foremost being his mom, and then a mom who works outside the home.
For all the working mamas sending a child to kindergarten this year {or just back to school in general}, here are a few ways I survived being a working mom with a kindergartner:
Be an early riser.
Making time to wake up before the rest of my house helped me strategize my day. I take my time getting ready before anyone else wakes up. When one or both of the boys climb out of bed before I’m ready I scratch the “me time” and upgrade to “we time” – it’s always way more fun anyway. It means I might have to pull my hair back, but snuggle time is worth every second. On a good day, when there is extra time, I might even make a nice big breakfast. There is a special kind of cocky a woman feels when she shows up at work knowing that she has already dressed a small army, fed them a big breakfast and possibly even ran the vacuum. Any job after that feels easy breezy.
Plan.
I am not a planner, but I sure have learned to be. On the weekends we sort out meals, snacks, and even clothes for the week. Often breakfast for each day gets sorted into containers so it’s easy to just pull out of the fridge, and snacks for the week are made all at once and put up to where I can grab one each morning. If I’m able, I will pull clothes for the whole week as well. Also, I might make a couple meals that I can heat up, or, as an alternative, buy things that are quick and easy to fix for dinner.
Don’t rush.
After reading another blog that convicted me – I have tried to not use the words: “hurry up” even when we need to move quickly. If we are running behind, it becomes a process of finding out what doesn’t need to be done and then reminding myself not to feel guilty about whatever minimal task didn’t get done. Sometimes that means the bed hasn’t been made in a week, or the clothes that are folded haven’t been put away – that’s ok! My mother-in-law has always said – your kids won’t remember that the house was perfectly clean, but they will remember the time you spent with them. Simple, but true.
Find ways to be involved.
This sounds like common sense, but it becomes an important piece of the puzzle to feeling included in your child’s day. For instance, it was important to me to drop our son off each day. It helped me to know he had a good start, and it gave me a chance to pray over him on our way to school. I have loved watching him grow in confidence as he walked in each day – those were important steps towards his independence that I didn’t want to miss. Also, at the advice of a dear friend who’d walked the same road, I asked our teacher for ways to help her even while I worked. So she sent things home for me to cut out, and that is just what I did. I became an official “class-cutter”; and that’s a title I am honored to have held.
Shed the guilt.
I say these words way more than I live by these words, but truly you just have to let it go. I’ve found the best way to deal with the emotions of not making it on the class field trip or making it to every party was to talk through it with our son. I’m honest about how badly I want to be at every event, but that I just can’t be and it allows him the chance to share his emotions with me as well. We sort out what things we want to make sure we get to do – together. We decide what events he wants me to be at and what trips or parties I just don’t want to miss. We strategize together about what matters to us and then we make it happen. There is a lesson there in working together and talking about how we feel and making things happen.
Use your lunch hour.
Seriously, my trips to Publix happen mostly during my lunch break, but you may also need this time to read a book, or take a walk around your building or pay the bills. Whatever it is, use this pocket of time to be intentional with something. You’ll feel better having marked something off of your list.
Go home.
There isn’t much to say here that would not make me a hypocrite but seriously, make it a point to go home on time. When you do, try putting your phone up somewhere that it isn’t easily accessible as soon as you walk in the door. I found that my kids will know they are important only if I show them and sometimes that takes me intentionally leaving work behind and coming home to them. Again, I am still working on this one.
Strategize homework.
I mean, it was kindergarten, so we haven’t had to deal with the landslide of assignments that I have heard are surely on the horizon, but I will tell you that we had sight words. Ugh, those words! We paced ourselves. We practiced usually while I made breakfast or dinner, or while I did the dishes or laundry, and by the end of the year, we finished! When in doubt, I am not against bribery – for us it came in currency that looked like brand new Legos. You do what you gotta do, mommas!
Celebrate.
Finally, as a new tradition we have decided that on the last day of school we are going to celebrate as a family by going straight from pick up time to a vacation. It might be a quick getaway or a long week of relaxation, but our family is going to look forward each year to marking the very last day of school with a special something we do together as a way to show how aware we are that each year and each accomplishment any of us make, whether it be school or work – was a group effort.
[Tweet “We strategize together about what matters to us, then we make it happen. A Working Mom’s School Year Survival Tips. #backtoschool #workingmom”]
These may seem like simple notes from a “rookie” working mom, but to me they were steps to survival. I am sure 1st grade will bring with it new challenges and lessons, but we will take the same approach and look forward to crossing the finish line together, in yet another busy end-of-the-school-year season, I am sure.
Are you a working mom? What are your best survival secrets? Please share! We need all the help and support we can get!
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