Of all my parenting responsibilities, discipline is the one that has overwhelmed me the most. Am I doing it right? Is it too little? Too much?
I admit I’ve often addressed the behavior rather than the heart behind it, even though I’ve read over and over again the importance of getting to the root issue. In the midst of endless demands it’s so easy to try and pacify our kids and their actions. But 8 years into this mothering thing and I continue to observe what I’ve always known – every child is uniquely created by God and requires personal, heart-targeted training, not merely behavior-driven correction.
The books I’ve read on the subject have been helpful but honestly, a bit legalistic in their tone and approach. I’m a peacemaker in my core and every tool I’ve tried has been too rigid for my free spirit.
Recently, though, I connected with Jim and Lynne Jackson and their Connected Families ministry. They sent me a copy of their new book, Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart and I honestly love their heart and approach to training children on a firm foundation of their worth and your love.
Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart helps parents communicate – even when kids are at their worst – that they are SAFE with us, LOVED no matter what, CAPABLE of wise choices and RESPONSIBLE to make right the things they’ve made wrong. These messages lead to trust and stronger parent/child relationships which will bring grace to our homes.
The 4 action/4 message approach is simple yet profound. This process will shape not only a child’s behavior but their character as well. Building on a foundation of security and moving through a child’s need to be loved and accepted, then called and capable, it’s not until each of these messages are established that kids feel the freedom and empowerment to own responsibility for their actions.
Jim and Lynne share in Chapter 1,
Discipline puts to the test what we most deeply believe. Is Christ’s love longer, wider, higher and deeper than our children’s (and our) misbehavior? Is God’s mercy present in our ugly conflicts, ultimately drawing our hearts back together – and to Him? Does God’s Word truly bring valuable protective wisdom that gets us back on track after we sin? Is the Holy Spirit’s power more than sufficient to keep us growing in faith and character even as we struggle? Simply stated, corrective discipline is a wonderful opportunity either to reinforce or to tear down our efforts to train kids to know, love and follow Jesus.
This book is full of life-changing strategies that I want to put into place with the help of my husband. I’m slowly reading through it now {so much to process} and I’m sharing it with my husband so that together we can adjust our approach to training and coaching our children to stand firm on a foundation of love and acceptance while learning how to live well according to God’s unique purpose for their lives.
In addition to the book, Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart, Connected Families has an online course called, Discipline that Connects. This course includes 6 modules – an introduction, one for each of the four messages, and a very practical conclusion sharing each message in action. I am completing the course right now and it’s incredible. I plan to go back through it together with my husband.
I can’t tell you from experience because I’m just now adopting these strategies for our family. But I’m confident enough in the truth of this content to recommend it to you. If you long to guide your children through loving correction and intentional training. . .if you are tired of barking orders and demanding change in behavior, I highly recommend the Discipline that Connects book and online course.
How we train our children; the words we use to correct and guide them are so intimately connected to their understanding of the gospel. I want my children to know they will always need growth but that God has chosen and equipped them to flourish.
How about you? What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to disciplining your children?
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