Grace for Your “Mom” Body

Throughout my thirties I dreaded summertime and the pool. With three kids, each spaced nearly three years apart, I was constantly in that weird stage when your body {and your boobs} are not your own. None of my favorite clothes fit, and when I did manage to find something cool to wear it wasn’t long before it was covered in spit up or stretched out by grubby little hands, revealing the loose belly and muffin top I was trying desperately to hide.

I had a “mom” body, and I hated it.

Perhaps you should know that I had spent the previous decade intensely focused on controlling my body. I didn’t care about having muscles or being curvy – it was the model-thin look that appealed to me. Prior to my first pregnancy, I had engaged in chronic dieting and disordered eating to attain it. Now my body was not my own, and it was not an easy thing to accept.

I had hope, though. After all, celebrities seemed to be able to pop out babies and appear in photo spreads just weeks later. If they could do it, then so could I. And after my first child, things did bounce back quickly. But with babies two and three, my body seemed to hold onto things a little longer, and I found myself hating my newfound shape.

As a result, I tended to avoid going to the pool, even though I knew I was robbing my children of splash-filled fun. On the rare occasions when I did go, I spent the whole time beating myself up whenever I saw someone in better shape than I was in. Frankly, I was a lot more focused on what I hated about myself than on loving my children in those moments.

Now that my youngest is nearly six, I finally feel more like myself again. If you’re a mom of young kiddos, your day will come too. Just give it time.

In fact, the best thing you can do for yourself – and your children – is ask God to give you grace for your body right now. It’s doing a lot, after all. You have carried and sustained life, chances are you haven’t slept much, and there’s not a lot of time to invest in healthy eating and fitness when you’re taking care of young children.

Even if you’ve become a mom through adoption, your body is an incredible tool of love and caring for those precious ones God has entrusted you with. Beating it up will only make you miserable and send the wrong message to the little eyes and ears you are now influencing. And let’s be honest, this cycle of self-hate is ours to break for the next generation.

This summer I’ve been on sabbatical and have ended up spending a lot of time at the neighborhood pool. As I observe younger moms today, it is with fresh eyes to see things I never saw for myself during that season.

Today, I see beauty in women who love their children enough to gamely put on a bathing suit even though they’d probably rather cover up. I hear them encourage their babies to take a risk and jump in because they know the water will delight them. I see the joyful expressions exchanged when the risk is taken and the reward experienced. And I’m reminded that our children see beauty in us regardless of how we see ourselves.

God has called you to be a mom, and his grace is sufficient for all of it. Even when it comes to loving the skin you’re in.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have healthy weight or fitness goals. I’m just suggesting you give yourself grace in the process. In the long run, love is a far better motivator than hate when it comes to achieving the health and wellness you seek.

Do you find yourself hating your “mom” body? How do you need to extend grace to yourself in this season of learning to love your beYOUtiful self?

 

Constance Rhodes is the founder and CEO of FINDINGbalance, the leading Christian resource for those seeking daily help to eat well and live free. Sign up for her free Daily Vitamin devotional at www.findingbalance.com/dv.

 

 

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