Whenever I speak at women’s events, I love people watching. The joy in the room is contagious. Women are giddy to be away from home and work and kids and laundry…and did I say laundry?
I always look around and wonder which of the amazing women I see are single moms. Which mom in the audience carries the heaviest burden alone? Who is missing the event because she’s working overtime or couldn’t find a sitter?
I rarely leave an event without publicly recognizing those who parent single-handedly. When I look into a sea of faces, words of encouragement come from the very place I found myself, being a single mom of two. The same three words bubble up and out of me; love one another.
Afterwards, single moms find me. “Thank you for talking about being single. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in at mom groups or even at church.”
Some give me a big hug and a few have even wept. “I’m so overwhelmed.” or, “I’m so tired.” And a few are burdened with guilt. “I’m cranky with the kids most of the time.”
It’s easy to think that every mom who belongs to a church or MOPS group is married, but that’s not the case. As moms, we have a long reach into the community. Pray and ask God to put a mom on your heart, someone you can help by sharing a meal, including in your carpool, or even anonymously giving in a financial way.
With Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching, life may prove to be even more challenging for single mamas. Shared/split holiday events with the kids. A greater feeling of going at it alone. The struggle to make ends meet with the extra expenses of the season.
As you look forward to your church or mom’s group Christmas tea or as you show up at school for holiday parties and performances, keep your eyes open for the moms who may need the support of a friend this season. Ask God to show you ways to bless her and help meet her unique needs. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Easy Ways to Encourage a Single Mom this Holiday Season
1. Don’t judge. It’s easy to assume a single mom is divorced or on her own because of poor choices. God doesn’t tell us “love one another only if they haven’t made mistakes.” Beware of judging single moms. This kind of thinking will trip you up. Jesus tells us to love one another, and if you judge, be ready to be judged by Him.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
2. Diapers and Doodads. The next time you’re at the store, pick up a few extra things for the single mommy in your neighborhood. Put together a basket with bath salts, a colorful loofah sponge and a delicious smelling candle. Stuff a colorful bag with a gift card for a Starbucks coffee and a chick flick. Send a gift card for a haircut or pedicure or a Target giftcard to help with holiday expenses.
Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?
The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:37-40
3. Make her something. There’s something about a homemade offering that tells the recipient they are worth the time it took to carefully create the gift. Knit her a scarf or baby hat. Bake her fresh bread {because chances are, she doesn’t have time to bake herself}.
You shall surely give to him. . .because for this thing the Lord your God will bless you in all your works and in all to which you put your hand. Deuteronomy 15:10
4. Time. Take the kids off of her hands for a few hours. Offer to pick up her son or daughter after school. If your children are on the same soccer team, baseball team or dance class, why don’t you bless her and carpool for a week or two?
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ Acts 20:35
Want to know a FIFTH way to bless a single mom? Seek her out. When you attend church, or a women’s event or mom conference please don’t only sit with your same girlfriends. Look for the mom who needs connection. Do what Jesus would do and come alongside the mom who moved hell and high water to be there.
And, if I just happen to be at your next event, you can find me sitting on her other side.
Have you made it a point to seek out a single mom in your area? What are some of the ways you have found to bless her?
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