School is starting, and one of my favorite memories of the beginning of each school year is catching up with all of those friends I didn’t see over summer break. The first few days of school were a great reunion of sorts, with tales of vacations and days at the pool.
I want Henry to have those same kinds of friendships. He is such a little extrovert, and at four-years-old he absolutely loves being with his friends.
But fellow mamas, let me tell you something. As he grows older and his friendships mature and change, I am issuing fair warning – I.will.be.all.up.in.his.business.
I say that in the nicest way possible, but I am very serious. I have cried with and prayed with too many parents whose child has walked down some difficult and dark roads – often because their parents didn’t know their child’s friends and what they did together.
Dear child, if you become wise,
I’ll be one happy parent.
My heart will dance and sing
to the tuneful truth you’ll speak.
Proverbs 23:15-16 {The Message}
To that end, here’s what I will do:
I will take responsibility for my child’s spiritual and moral education. What my child is learning at church should only reinforce what I am already teaching him at home – not the other way around. I am the greatest influence in my child’s life.
I will volunteer as much as my schedule allows at my child’s school and church activities. I know that for mamas who work outside the home this will mean volunteering at ballgames and other events at night or on the weekends. But we need to know the teachers, parents, and other kids who are influencing our children. We need to know their names, but we also need to know a little bit about their character and reputation.
I will make my home a place where my child and my child’s friends want to be. While having an open door may not always be convenient, if they are hanging out at my house, then I will know what they are doing. It’s that simple. I have a friend who installed a swimming pool for this very purpose. I may not be able to go to that length, but I can keep an open door and an open refrigerator that is stocked with whatever junk they like to eat.
I will love my child unconditionally, and make myself a safe place where he can share whatever is on his mind. If our children do mess up {which they will} and make poor decisions {which they will}, we need to be the first place they will turn for help. The only way that will happen is by building a foundation of love, trust, and acceptance from their earliest years.
Fellow moms, especially those who are further along this path of motherhood, how do you stay involved in your children’s lives? Do you have tips for how you have been able to get to know your children’s friends and major influences?
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