A few months ago I attended a mom’s group and our guest speaker was a woman from the Tennessee state government whose job is to educate and equip parents and leaders to protect children against child sexual abuse. The statistics she presented were sobering…frightening even. My girl is almost 7 and we’ve yet to address the subject of sex let alone sexual abuse.
This is a subject that is often overlooked. Maybe because we’re afraid or naive. Maybe because we think it could never happen to our family. But education is power and this is one area in which our children need to feel strong.
April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month, the perfect time to start a conversation in this space that will educate and empower the moms in our community. I am excited partner with and introduce you to an organization with a vision and passion to help protect our children from becoming victims of sexual abuse.
Awareness + Education + Empowerment + Love
Collective silence has caused grave damage to millions of children, and has long protected the abuser. Together, we can do a much better job of learning about an insidious form of abuse and teach kids to better protect themselves.
Stop Abuse was formed in 1986 to prevent child sexual abuse through education, detection and referral. Through its research-based Emmy award-winning marionette program, Simon Says, ‘Just Tell’ schoolchildren from kindergarten through grade 5 learn to recognize, prevent and disclose abuse in a safe environment.
My friends at Stop Abuse recently shared these statistics with me. In the United States:
- Reports indicate that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys will have experienced sexual abuse by the time they are 18 years of age. {U.S. Department of Justice, National Sex Offender Public Website, 2014}
- Every year, more than 65,500 children report being sexually abused in the United States. However, numerous studies indicate that only approximately 10% of victims actually report their sexual abuse as a child. {National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, 2014}
- 93% of all juvenile victims know their abuser. {Department of Justice National Sex Offenders Public Website, 2014}
- 42% of child sexual abuse victims are discovered by educators, either teachers or counselors, as compared to 13% discovered by police officers and 2% by medical professionals. {National Center for Victims of Crime, 2014}
- Children are most vulnerable to sexual abuse between the ages of 7 and 13. {National Center for Victims of Crime, 2014}
Let these facts sink in for a minute. We are inundated with dramatic blog posts and articles about protecting our children against a poor education, the effects of immunizations or the danger of sugar yet we ignore this glaring predator that comes in so many forms. We want to protect their innocence so we shield them from the truth about their body and how to love, respect and protect it.
I am a modest person who is not comfortable talking body parts and functions with my children but I love them too much to allow my tendencies to get in the way of empowering them towards safety. I’ve heard it said, you should have “the talk” with your kids before age 7 so that they hear about sex and their body from you before they begin hearing talk “on the street”. At first this suggestion made me cringe but the more I learn about the risks they face each time they leave our safe haven, the more ready I am to do whatever it takes to educate them. These facts prove it’s time to get over myself and do what needs to be done to protect my kids.
So what do I do now?
Over the next few months we plan to address this important issue here in the Grace for Moms community. We’ll share some tips and talking points on how you can begin to educate and protect your children from child sexual abuse.
Visit the Stop Abuse website and check out their program and other resources. Find out how you can bring the Simon Says, ‘Just Tell’ program to your school, church or organization.
Consider giving a donation to help support this critical effort to protect children.
Begin talking with your kids about their bodies and give them permission to tell you whenever someone does something that makes them uncomfortable.
Introduce your children to Simon. Simon is the courage that lives in the hearts of children everywhere. Simon says, “If someone touches you in a way that you don’t like, tell someone – a teacher, a counselor or a parent. Just tell! Don’t be afraid. No one, including friends or relatives has the right to touch you in ways you don’t like.”
My kiddos love Simon. He will help me empower them to stay safe.
My girl {6} is ready to learn to love and protect her body.
Join Simon on Twitter. Join Simon’s community {+ get daily safety tips} on Facebook.
Let’s encourage one another to empower and protect our family. I believe we can become a movement of moms ready to eradicate this epidemic by bringing to light the truth through strong, brave children.
Friends, how are you teaching your child to protect themselves against sexual abuse? Leave a comment sharing your tips and talking points you’ve used. We’ll choose 3 commenters to win their very own Simon doll to help continue this important conversation!
As a mom, I love Simon too. He is the courage that lies within me and my children.
I would add that my husband and I do not force our son to hug or kiss anyone. It doesn’t matter how much “auntie Marge” wants hugs or kisses when she visits; our son has the right to pick a polite alternative like waving hello, blowing kisses, or giving a high-five.
We also respect when he says no. Now, of course there are some times when he says no because he is being disobedient. But if that’s not the case, like if we are tickling him and he says no, we stop immediately. We want to teach him that no really does mean no, and he should honor the no of other kids and people as well.
I adopted through foster care and I have worked in early childhood for years. My biggest thing was telling my daughter the real name of her body parts. We talk about how there are words you say in private and words you can say in public. She knew as young as 3 what her female parts were called but that she didn’t need to walk around naming them for everyone. We also talked about how any area covered by her underwear is private and only mommy or doctors can look at it. If anyone asks or looks she needs to tell me or another adult right away. She’s 7 now so I probably should have a more detailed talk. One very important tip is to teach your daughter how to clean herself- many end up with infections or just raw areas from not wiping properly or washing properly. So: name the body parts, define who can look and teach how to care for!
Awesome tips Jessica. Thank you!