Mr. Stacey was the awesomest of all humanities professors when I was a student at Oral Roberts University. Why was he so awesome? Was it because of his LEGO hair, that appeared to be painted on and aligned perfectly with the ear piece on his glasses? Partially, as this became the subject of may of hours of discussion amongst us undergrads. Was it the fact that he rarely cracked a smile and was likely a cylon? Maybe. He was awesome mainly because he refused to answer stupid questions. He wouldn’t spoon feed us the obvious or repeat something he just said. He treated us like adults and told us what we needed to know without a lot of fluff.
As a doctor, obviously I want patients to feel comfortable asking me anything. I answer all questions with as much empathy and compassion as I can muster. Sometimes, though, I wonder if women really think before they speak. It’s said that there is no such thing as a ‘stupid question’, but I have to disagree. Here are some of the winners I’ve been asked over the years, that would have made Mr. Stacey roll his eyes and say, “Next Question!”
10. Did you deliver your own baby?
Why yes, I sliced my own stomach opened and pulled out my baby. Because I am, in fact, just that good. I have been asked this by people, even after they know I had a c-section. All the women in my practice have been asked this, which I find intriguing. Speaking of women:
9. Since you have all women working in your office, are you all on the same menstrual cycle?
Surprisingly, I have been asked this weird and personal question many times. We don’t really discuss our cycles around the office. Menstrual synchrony has never been scientifically proven, by the way.
8. Do I need to take my tampon out before you do the pap smear?
Yuck, yes you do. Additionally about once a month, a women will change into the gown, put herself into position on the exam table, then as I go to perform the pap smear, I will discover that she still has her underwear on. This always leaves me quite befuddled. There is a subset of women who do not understand their basic anatomy.
7. Will this medicine hurt my baby?
This is not as much a stupid question as an poorly worded question. Almost every time I prescribe a medication to a pregnant woman, she will ask me this. Yes, I went to school for 12 million years, so I could poison your baby with Benedryl. Obviously, I would not prescribe a harmful medication to a pregnant woman. A better phrasing would be ‘what are the risks of this medication in pregnancy’ as ALL medications have risks.
6. Will you see my boyfriend as a patient?
No, I do not do boy stuff. I am a GYNECOLOGIST.
5. Are scrubs comfortable to wear to work?
No, wearing pajamas to work really stinks.
4. Should I stop my birth control pills if I am trying to get pregnant?
No. If you have to ask this question, perhaps you should not procreate.
3. Me: ‘Are you sexually active?’ Teenager: ‘Sort Of’
This is a common ‘stupid answer’. On further questioning as to the nature of said pseudo sexual activity, the actual answer in most cases, should have been a simple ‘yes.’
1. I ask stupid questions too.
I am also guilty of the stupid question. I recently asked a teen patient if she had ever been sexually active. She then paused and looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “Yes, I have a baby.”
Face palm. Sure enough, there on her intake form as plain as day, she had noted that she had a one year old. Now she is probably looking for a new gynecologist who understands how babies are made.
What is the stupidest question you have ever heard or asked. . .or been asked?
I have a friend with one arm. She has been asked if she’s left handed or right handed on numerous occasions.
Dr Rupe, I think we as patients have had that physician who dismissed our questions and feelings… I think if MTFF knew you she would know that there is no more caring and selfless doctor, then you. Your concern for your patients is unquestionable.
I get that you are trying to be funny with this post, but it really betrays how little you, as a doctor, understand of your patients beyond their physiology and also how little sympathy you have for them. Women frequently feel anxious, awkward or uncomfortable when seeing their OBGYN (who looks forward to their pap smear, really?). Mostly this comes across as condescending. Did you consider that pregnant woman asking anxiously about a medicine hurting her baby could come from a good place – the sudden transfer of her focus on herself to that on the wellbeing of her child. It’s not about you. She’s not making a judgement on you, she’s asking for reassurance at a time when she feels vulnerable and you have the power. Instead you’re demanding she rephrase it so you can feel reassured that nobody is challenging your authority and superior knowledge. Think about it.
One or two questions at most are a little foolish (and as you point out, you are also guilty) but the rest seem like things people say when they are trying to make conversation to put themselves at ease or they’re the result of lack of education, not stupidity.
Not everyone had the privilege of going to med school for years and years. I think you might have missed the classes on compassion.
EEK! This post is meant to be cheeky and not offensive. Yes, I do realize patient that patients care very much about the well being of their babies and that is the reason for the medication question. I thought my phrasing clarified that but I guess not thoroughly.
Don’t worry Dr Rupe. I’m glad you didn’t miss the classes on ‘how to see the lighter side of life’!
Unfortunately, there will be people around who think doctors are not allowed to have a sense of humour – but I think it keeps us sane and helps us to be more compassionate doctors!
Dr. Rupe, I’m thankful for your humor. We all say stupid things, and you were very clear to show that you are not exempt from that. Don’t worry, the majority of us are able to see that your post is meant to be funny, not uncompassionate. I didn’t think it came across like that at all. You wouldn’t be doing this blog otherwise.
MTFF, it seems like you yourself have a chip on your shoulder assuming the worst in physicians. I think we can all admit that a question is silly, even if we or that person was nervous at the time of asking it. I’ve said dumb things out of ignorance or in times of stress, etc, and I can look back and laugh at myself.
It’s true, Mr. Stacey was the best! I learned about art and was always paying attention… to his hair at least. Congratulations and all the best to you!
Wondering about the numbering of your list? Interesting 🙂
Obviously my editing skills could use some work 😉
My husband’s birthday is Oct 31, he is often asked if it always falls on Halloween!
That is awesome Sarah- oh my that really made me Laugh out Loud!
I am actually guilty of one of those stupid questions, and may have even asked Dr. Rupe that one, lol. Truth be told, I was completely unaware that this was not only a “stupid” question but an “offensive” one. Oopsie! Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time, nor will it be the last. Sometimes my brain cells don’t get the chance to be used as my mouth runs on a different timer. :p This trait of mine is heightened when pregnant, too, lol. Well, I am sorry it offended you, but as for the stupidity of it, I just like to think of myself as offering you some comedic relief after a long hard day at the office. 🙂
Obviously I’m not really offended by the medication question! I literally get asked that question 10 times a day, so it just gets funny after a while!
This one made me laugh! I am hearing impaired myself and I have came across so many stupid questions especially while I am pregnant or they see me with my boys. Some questions I have encountered such as “How can deaf people make babies?” Uh yeah as long our anatomy are developed normal… “How can you take care of babies if you cant hear them? Umm that’s what technology is for, we have baby alarms, etc”… Love reading your blogs, Dr. Rupe!
This is hilarious. I think we’ve all been known to ask a stupid question here and there.
I’ll be the first to admit my most stupid question. It came at a funeral.(ugh)
Me to person who lost immediate family member: “Hey, How are you?” I’m officially super awkward in times of grief. I am sure they wanted to smack me. But politely respond, “Good, you?”
I am a twin so you would not believe the dumb questions I get asked. I’ve heard; “Do you have the same birthdays?” Now I know that some twins arrival times fall on different days depending on the time they are born but generally speaking a twin means they were born at the same time. Question two- “If I hit one of you would the other feel your pain?” I’ve gotten this question in many different ways and my first response wants to be; “No but if you hit me you will!” One of my all time favorites of being a twin, “How do you tell yourselves a part?” Now like you said I believe this is a wrongly worded question as they are merely asking what are the differences we can use to distinguish who is who. But asked in the way they did implies I don’t know that I am me or my sister is her and sometimes the two of us get confused. 🙂
I find it funny when people ask if boy-girl twins are ‘identical’ 🙂