For those reading this blog for the first time, please know that I really do love my job. I have been writing this blog for nearly 3 years and have never used it as an outlet to overtly complain or vent. However, this week I am in a funk. I have just learned that the Asia trip has been rescheduled to a time when I cannot go, my toddler has decided that screaming is his new favorite way to communicate and I have been forced to attend WAY too many meetings (see #2). I promise to bring you a helpful and informative piece of encouraging information next week but this week you are stuck with a cheeky rant. Hopefully you will find my list humorous and insightful. If nothing else, it will inspire you to wear clean socks to the gynecologist.
I would never choose any other profession (except being a gondolier in Venice)…
…but there are parts of my job that I could really do without.
8. Being Soaked in Bodily Fluids
In my cubby at work (due to cutbacks I am no longer allowed a desk), I keep a ziplock bag that contains spare underwear, bra and pair of socks. On a fairly regular basis, I get sprayed with urine/amniotic fluid/blood to the point that it soaks through my clothes to my under garments. I am a professional. I accept this as part of my job, still, it’s gross.
I have also recently learned what amniotic fluid tastes like. Which is definitely a piece of information that I could have gone my entire life without knowing.
7. Sleep Deprivation
Babies are not just born on Monday-Friday between 8 and 5. They love to come at 2 a.m. when it’s cold and rainy outside, and I am sleeping cozily in my bed. I always count it a privilege to be a part of a birth, but it’s hard to roll out of bed sometimes. Working 10 hours the next day is also extra awesome.
What I have discovered the hard way, is that when I am sleep deprived I lose my filter. Am I the only one who struggles with controlling their tongue? I have a rather goofy/sarcastic sense of humor. When I’m low on sleep and having a long day, I sometimes say exactly what I’m thinking. Not always a good thing.
6. Getting Paged Stat to the Hospital While I am in the Shower
Much as the babies like to come at 2 am, emergencies do not consult my outlook calendar as to a convenient time to occur. There have been many occasions where I get called into the hospital from the shower. I rinse out the shampoo, throw all my toiletries in a bag and rush to the hospital as quickly as my Camero will take me (which is 9 minutes and 34 seconds, shower to surgery). This results in a very bad hair day.
Obviously, a medical emergency is more important than my flat ironing routine. If you come for an appointment and am looking more on the disheveled side of professional, then this is likely why.
5. Living My Life with an Asterisk
Those close to me know that any commitment I make has an understood asterisk attached of “if I don’t have to go to the hospital.” Sometimes a literal asterisk, if I am replying to an e-mail invitation.
Again emergencies are more important than my social calendar, but still it gets old.
4. Telling Someone their Spouse has been Unfaithful
I see women on a regular basis who come in thinking that they have a yeast infection, but actually have a sexually transmitted disease. In giving them this diagnosis I am also telling them that their spouse has been unfaithful. Awkward and painful.
Tears and obscenities usually being to flow at this point. My heart breaks for them.
3. Missing too Many Bedtime Stories
I miss a lot of bed time stories, school plays and morning cuddle time due to work. Luckily, I have a great husband who is wonderfully supportive and a great at carrying my side of the parenting weight a lot of the time. But missing all those bedtime kisses when I’m stuck at the hospital is one of the biggest draw backs to this job.
2. Charting/Computers/Meetings/Insurance Companies
The business and administrative side of medicine can be obnoxious.
Recently a patient asked me if her insurance would pay for a specific test, I was sleep deprived (see #7) and just started maniacally laughing at this preposterous question. There are a million different insurance companies, all have different deductibles and rules that all change constantly. I can never know what an insurance company is going to do. I employ 3 full time staffers whose job is to file billing claims and fight with insurance companies.
One morning I had two patients request their birth control pills be changed to generic so their insurance would cover them. That afternoon another patient came in needing her generic changed to a name brand so her insurance would cover it.
When I’m done with insurance, then starts the paperwork, well computer work to be more exact. On a good day, I spend a least an hour a day charting after I am done seeing patients. On a bad day, I spend another hour at home charting when my kids are in bed.
1. Stinky Feet
Women are very concerned with the cleanliness of their ‘nether regions’ when they come to the gynecologist. They apologize for any ungroomed pubic hair or if they have not showered within the last 7 minutes. What most people don’t think about is that it’s their FEET that is right next to the gynecologist’s nose when they are getting a pelvic exam and not their vagina. It has been a long hot sweaty summer. Trust me, there are some disgustingly stinky feet out there.
Thank you for suffering through my every triennial rant. I already feel better just typing it. I hope you have learned to be kind to your gynecologist if she looks tired and disheveled, or she may just tell you exactly whats on her mind and call in the wrong brand of birth control pills. And please, for the love of Tampax, Wash your feet and wear clean socks when you come to the gynecologist!
Oh boo boo. You probably don’t cry on payday. Here’s an idea…. stop being so cold and dismissive of real suffering.
Hi…I am confused between choosing ob gyn and paeds…but your post is actually making me rethink if I should really be an ob gyn?…do we have to compromise on our sleep even after specialising in infertility/ reproductive medicine?
” I employ 3 full time staffers whose job is to file billing claims and fight with insurance companies.” I think this is a comment of the typical doctor who is clueless as their staff destroys their practice. Ever wonder why patient numbers have decreased? Well, it’s your rude staff who keep the phone off the hook for about 3 hours total out of the day. That same staff is also billing a patient’s old insurance even though an updated insurance card was provided. Those are the same people who won’t call in a script until 2 days later. So, instead of complaining about the stinky feet of the women who are paying your bills, why not see what you can do to improve the patient experience.
This list makes me truly wonder—why on earth did this doctor (and the others chiming) even enter into the medical profession if the birthing process is so disgusting to them? So you didn’t realize bodily fluids and birth would go hand and hand? Women are told over and over again that obygyns are professionals who have seen it all and aren’t judging women who have a bile movement and such, but this article and comments proves that wrong! They are very much disgusted by patients and talk with such disdain about them!
Glad to see so many obgyns get a good chuckle out of things that naturally occur when giving vaginal birth. It appears this writer cannot relate at all to what her patients go through and instead sees the birth process as a gross and disgusting. God forbid a vulnerable woman giving birth would force her amniotic fluid on your clothes!!
It’s no wonder more and more women are opting to give birth in the privacy of their homes, because now we know obgyns also are disgusted by the birthing process. Not only are women in the most vulnerable (and important) moments of their lives, but now they have to worry about controlling their fluids as not to gross out their doctor!
Question for DR. Rupe? Is it good bedside manners for a male ob/gyn to be working inches from a womans privates,whille on her cycle without a mask of some sort on?
As a midwife I totally get most of these… very funny post!
I am an OB/GYN and I could’ve written this. Unfortunately I too know what amniotic fluid tastes like, and agree 100% about the stinky feet!
LOL…maybe you should hire someone to start offering foot soaks & foot massages in the waiting room to “discreetly” make sure your clients’ feet are washed and smelling of a lovely massage lotion before getting into the stirrups. Your clients would love you for it!
I am a general internist but can definitely sympathize. Though I don’t have as many missed commitments, I do get plenty of interruptions. When my son was three and my pager went off he’d say “Ut-oh Mommy. Someone’s sick!” When I got off the phone he’d ask “Did you make them better?”
Ranting is ok. We all need to release a little steam. My filter goes, too, sometime after the fourth page between midnight and 3AM. I still wouldn’t want to do anything else.
I also hated those days when I had to tell a woman that her baby was gone or she had miscarried. But the digital disimpaction 10 days post-partum that had resisted the enema was the worst. Even topped the retained tampons (have your ziplock bag ready and prepare for a SPEEDY exit from the room to the outside garbage–even before you remove the speculum). But the worst is seeing good providers sued for things beyond their control, and then having to put on their game face for their other clients. The public doesn’t appreciate the tremendous stress caused by the threat of such a liability system. It’s the best of jobs and the worst of jobs!
Diagnosing the loss of a baby is by far THE WORST part of the job, but it seemed disrespectful to put stillbirth and stinky feet in the same list. (I was trying to keep this post lighthearted)
Cicely, the happy moments eclipse all of the issues! I have done a lot off rescue cerclages. I recently contacted a patient who had underwent a rescue 17 yrs ago. She was 40 yrs old @ the time and presented at 20 wks, 4cm dilated with a bulging bag. I closed it and she went to full term. Anyway, when I spoke to her and her husband by phone, they were so thankful and informed me that their little girl was starting Hunter College in Forensics! Makes you wanna git out your pew and do a holy dance! Oh, what a feeling! got 40-50 such cases!
One thing that you didn’t mention that someone sort of commented on was the sight of stool actually egressing from the anus! The sight and smell stays with you for awhile! Kind of burns an indelible memory note in your cortex and possesses your olfactory lobe! I walk around for hours smelling it looking for fecal matter on my shoes and scrubs even after showering and changing! That’s the worst part of OB for me!
On a historic note, just be glad that we stopped using the mouth aspirated Delee suction catheters for meconium staining. If the the trap inverts, you get a mouthful of meconium… Salty! And the HIV risk! Those of us who practiced in the 80-90 are lucky to be alive. At least now you know who is positive and the gowns are impervious.
Cicely, Be blessed!
Wait! You mean the taste of amniotic fluid didn’t simply trigger happy memories of your own months in utero?
When I had my daughter she got stuck while I was pushing, and my OB had to use the vacuum and a whole lot of elbow grease to pull that baby out. One of the things I don’t think I’ll ever forget is the GIANT SPLASH I heard when my daughter was finally dislodged from my body. I was so grateful that my OB had stayed late to make sure she was there when I was ready to deliver, even though she had been at the hospital for over 12 hours, and that she stayed even longer to sew me up and get a photo with my baby even though she was covered in amniotic fluid. 🙂
LOL- Been at this life over 15 years and I must say I have never tasted amniotic fluid.(ewww) You must get better reflexes..lol. But yes, telling my married faithful patients about their new std is far from pleasant. As far as missing bedtimes…it’s not the ones you miss, it’s the ones you are there for that matter. Make the most of them. And personally, I do not hesitate to tell a patient that I am sleepy, tired, sleep deprived or whatever. It makes me touchable and (at least I think) it makes them appreciate me just a little bit more. After all, I’ll get up at 3 am for them too.
And about that asterisk..it can work to your advantage. It’s gotten me out of plenty of events that I didn’t really want to go to in the first place. Nobody ever argues with me when I tell them ” I had to go to the hospital” 🙂 I really do love my job!
Thank you for this! I have been giving presentations to doulas, childbirth educators, and midwives about developing empathy for doctors (who give up so much of their lives to be there when we need them in emergencies). It’s so important that we remember that we are ALL human. I’m so grateful that you are willing to get out of a shower and miss bedtimes for women and babies who need you.
Oh, and I long ago started buzzing my hair so that I always look more or less the same. No bedhead, scrub cap head, Unabomber look. Helps if you’re a guy.
Getting an amniotic fluid facial is why I long ago stopped breaking the bed and sitting for deliveries. Now just lower the foot and lean in a bit. Hasn’t happened since!
Agree 100% with all of the above. I live very close to the hospital so I am 7 min from asleep to walking into the patient’s room which makes life nicer for me, but its strange how often the phone rings when I am covered in suds, stuffing a chicken, changing the oil etc.
Still can’t imagine doing anything else!
Haha! I am paranoid about my feet when I go in; always wash and spray with perfume on my wait out the door 🙂
Not all gynecologists are she’s……that said I have bad hair days ( glad I still have some), have had my share of baths in gross stuff and I totally agree with the foot thing….August, pantyhose and a 4pm gyne visit just are sometimes not compatible…..appears I don’t have a filter either. And as frsustrating as the field can be, especially concerning litigation, after 20 years, I have to say that I still love my job!
I am a midwife and I completely agree with all 8 of your items!
You didn’t put all the weird things you have to fish out of women’s vaginas – my worst was a baseball-sized wad of 3-day-old, blood-soaked toilet paper. We couldn’t use that room for the rest of the day.
I laughed way too much! Because, as a fellow ob/gyn, that is EXACTLY, the same list I would create (change screaming toddler to demanding teenager). I feel ya, sister! May I also suggest using some discretionary income to finance other endeavors (franchise, real estate, etc). There will be a day VERLY soon when I can erase all the memories of the taste of amnionic fluid from my memory, and the only salt I will taste is from the ocean! 🙂
You left off reason #9. Seeing fecal matter on the perineum/around the anus for those who can’t/don’t wipe we’ll.
All I can say is GOD BLESS YOU! This list was unbelievably funny (and a bit sad; you missing your precious children to help bring someone else’s little miracle into the world) but seriously God bless you! I wish you lived closer, you’d be my new OB. 😉
I’m also an Ob/gyn. It gets better/different when the kids get older. Also hate when it’s a pregnancy loss. Sometimes I cry with the patient. Then have to put on my game face and go to next room! Women often don’t understand the scope of your day. Yes it’s 9 am but I’ve been at work since midnight do my hair and face may reflect that. Once they get a taste of my Hosp commitments/hours all I get is sympathy and astonishment. All my appoinments for anything incl family time are done in pencil. The filter drops away with fatigue. My downfall is my potty mouth and gyn is ripe with opportunity to exercise it. Oh well. We’re all human. Take good care of your patients and your place in heaven is assured buy definitely treasure all your moments with your family. Patients will always be there but kids just grow up and fly from the nest. All the best!
Glad to know that my obsessive foot grooming habits are appreciated by my OBGYN, at the very least. LOL!
I guess you were sleep deprived when you wrote this.
I am a family doctor, not an ob/gyn, but share many of these experiences…
You are 100% completely totally right about #1. The vagina and the nasal passages are the same level of “gross” to me (which is to say, not at all, becuase I am used to them) But clean socks are a fantastic idea.
Also, I had a funny looking splotch on each dansko clog about 3 pairs ago – the left was bile, the right was mucous plug.
Ha, thank you 🙂 I’ve had a long morning at home with the little ones, I needed this 🙂 I’ve never thought about my feet, but I’m washing them right before appointments for now on!
Thanks for sharing these details. My wife is an OB/GYN so reading this helped me understand how hard it is for her. Now I have more sympathy 🙂
I have some ideas for your screaming toddler. I teach in my Brentwood childbirth class the happiest baby on the block and now Dr. Harvey Karp now has the happiest toddler on the block dvd http://www.happiestbaby.com/store/Toddlers/The-Happiest-Toddler-Book-DVD-Combo-p16.html
I also love the educational fun music DVD’S by http://www.singingtime.com
I had a baby/toddler I was a postpartum doula/infant care specialist for on long term and he had NO TV but once a day watched one of the many of these DVD’S and after he was 1 yr could start to sign, and never had the screaming tantrums. Each DVD teaches different words to sign. They have them in many libraries. I have had many childbirth class students report these 2 products was fabulous for them.
Thanks for the tips!
Oh thank you! I needed to laugh this morning. . . and I will def. remember to wear CLEAN socks!
This was great. I was reading this to my husband and he said you should DEF wear a complete full face plastic helmet to avoid tasting more fluids. Eeekkk I know that must have been SOOO gross!!! lol
I wear a large plastic mask, but still sometimes a wave of fluid will gush over it.
Too funny Heather! It kind of makes me glad I didn’t become an OB/GYN, but I know you love your job. And I’ll be sure to wear clean socks 🙂