He looked at me from under a windshield wiper of blond hair tossed side to side as he scribbled on squares of copy paper. His gaze met mine when we both realized I was watching him. I smiled at his mom, owing her an explanation for staring at the pair beside me in the bagel shop. I couldn’t help it; I was remembering another season.
“My son turned 18 this weekend,” I blurted out. “He just turned four,” she answered. “It really does go by so fast,” I admitted. “Enjoy every season.”
I made myself smile, longing for my man-child to be little again, in clothes I pick out and feet that dangle and pictures on papers we put on the refrigerator. But that season has departed, and I’m about to arrive in a new season.
I sucked hard on my smoothie, but my lip quivered too hard to sip. After all, we spend a lot of time laboring, praying, and hoping for an entrance into motherhood. Regardless of how we arrive, few of us expect that growing a mother’s heart requires the constant stretching that comes with arrivals and departures in a series of seasons.
We finally adjust to our infant, and she learns to walk in a quest to leave. We mold our lives to childhood routines, just in time to embark into puberty. We embrace the independence of teenagers, in time for greater leaps into adulthood. Why doesn’t anyone tell moms-to-be that our hearts will move in and out of seasons of motherhood without allowing time to slow down and linger long? To be a mom is to sojourn through seasons of change.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
No one knows better than a mama that everything has a season. We dismantle habits and build up character. We grieve and rejoice. We hold on and let go. We speak up and hold our tongues. We go to battle for our kids and intercede for their peace. And we struggle to “refrain from embracing,” for it’s the urge of a mother’s heart to hold on and keep holding on.
To be a mom is to sojourn through seasons of change. It was beautiful, the scribbling boy and his mom, savoring a table for two while time slipped by unnoticed. Each day brings my boy-man closer to his cap and gown and future, and I will hang his diploma on the refrigerator. It will be a new season, and I will be a new mama all over again. It will be beautiful. Every season is beautiful in its own way for moms with wisdom and foresight to savor each one and soak it all in and be all there, for before she knows it, her season will depart and she will arrive in a new one. Everything has a season, dear mama, so make each one be a sweet one.
What season of motherhood are you in? Do you feel like you’re enjoying the moment, can’t wait ‘til it’s over, just want to survive, or wish it could last forever?
Julie Sanders
Julie’s first baby has grown up and gone off to college and the second is close behind. Having a baby looked different than she expected, but the motherhood journey has exceeded all she imagined.
Julie’s experiences as an elementary teacher, college professor, counselor, artist, closet poet and traveler have served her well in the trenches of motherhood. She draws from a deep well when she shares with transparency and through a lens of Biblical wisdom.
Having raised two children of her own, she now feels a bit bad about putting her own mom through 3 broken legs, blood poisoning, a diving accident, being trampled by a horse, and other assorted mishaps. As a pastor’s wife, Bible teacher, and women’s ministry leader, Julie enjoys walking the path of motherhood with mothers in all seasons. When it comes to being a mom, she’s discovered there is every reason to be Expectant.
Connect with Julie at her website Come Have a Peace, where she offers peace for your days by sharing God’s truth for the things of life, marriage, and motherhood. As you grow your family, she will help you grow your Expectant heart on the journey of motherhood.
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Julie’s book Expectant is part of our huge giveaway and she’ll be joining us for the party on the Grace for Moms Facebook page tonight, 8pm CST. We hope you’ll join us!
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Thank you, Julie.So beautiful. Your heart spoke to mine. I yearn for baseball caps worn crooked and bugs in jelly jars myself. THANK YOU for reminding me that God gives the greatest encouragement in Ecclesiastes. This is a season…
Julie, this is so beautifully written and is a good reminder for me. On the hard days (like yesterday) with my almost 4 year old boy, I tend to wish this season away. Deep down I know I will merely exchange it for an equally hard, yet very different season of being a boy mom. Each season is beautifully hard and your wisdom reminds me to embrace them all. Thank you!