Family Story: Set the Stage {Developing Values}

Over the past 9 years, loss has been a major theme in our family story. Since 2006, my husband and I have lost 4 babies through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy and both of our mothers to horrible diseases. We fought hard to establish our family while we leaned in close to our siblings and fathers throughout the roller coaster of emotion we’ve been on in the last decade. These chapters have included so much sorrow yet much joy. Our circumstances have not only been written into our story up until this point, they have also greatly determined how we want the rest of our days to be lived out.

Because of my struggle with infertility and multiple pregnancy losses, I value and spend much of my days building this community of Grace for Moms. I authored two books to encourage and inspire women who are trying to conceive, pregnant and new moms. The earlier chapters of my own story instilled in me a passion to help those writing their own.

Because my husband and I both lost our mothers in the span of 4 years, when our children were both 5 and under, we value legacy and are committed to tell their stories within our own.

Sometimes values are birthed within the words of our story. Circumstances, loss, achievements, convictions and passions all play a roll in bringing values into the manuscript of our lives. What we experience will undoubtedly determine what we value and how we want to spend our time and resources.

Last week Kristy shared an incredible values assessment process that takes inventory of our current priorities and what they mean to our family story. Our values determine the words of our story and sometimes the words of our story determine our values. The cycle continues as each chapter of our lives unfold.

Although we are focusing on “how to write your family story” we acknowledge that there’s only so much of our story that we have control over or actually “write” ourselves. Through the process of assessing family values, establishing vision and developing our mission statement, we can guide our story but we can never control it. So much of life simply happens and when it does, we can focus on the chapters that have come before and those we hope to write as the story evolves.

[Tweet “Through intention we can guide our family story but we can never truly control it. #familystory #story #values”]

Grab your paper or journal from last week’s exercise. Take a look at the values you determined based on how you spend your time and resources. Develop your family values list a little further by looking at what you want your family to value or what your family values because of the story that’s been written thus far. Ask yourself these questions:

What values do we hold in our heart but are not yet living?

What changes need to be made to adjust our values or add important priorities?

What significant chapters of our story have been written and what values have they propelled for us?

What values did earlier generations {grandparents, etc} hold that we can introduce in order to continue their legacy?

Next week we’ll put it all together and create our family values list. This week, pray over what you’ve discovered so far and ask God to continue to open your eyes to current and desired values you want your family to hold.

One of the most powerful forces of story is its ability to develop as we intentionally guide the seasons of our lives and respond to the words already written for us. With eyes open to how we are living and hearts set on what we truly want to value, we will be ready to write an amazing story for our family.

What major chapters in your life have determined how you want the rest of your story to be written? What values do you hope to establish for your family?