Becoming a dad to two precious baby boys very quickly sent my husband on the search for authentic biblical masculinity. I’ve had the privilege of having a front row seat watching him parent our sons. He pushes through the messages the world is sending them and shoots straight for their hearts. What an incredible father he is to them! We all have hits and misses in parenting and he’d be the first to admit that he’s not a perfect dad. But as his wife, I can tell you that along with the daily wrestling matches and Lego building in our home, I frequently hear him asking questions like, “how did that make you feel, buddy?”
I couldn’t feel more honored to have married a man who wants his boys to know the value of being able to name their feelings. This wisdom is something he’s worked hard to grasp. I’ve watched him shed baggage from his own journey to manhood to search hard and fast after what God says is true about him as a man today. He’s done this mainly so that his sons don’t have to bear the same types of scars and so they grow up certain of what scripture says about masculinity. My husband is the cornerstone of our family’s faith, but it hasn’t always been this way…
Years ago in a marriage counseling session, we were given invaluable advice. Our counselor said, “nothing brings out masculinity in a man quite like his wife will.” At first, this made me chuckle. There have certainly been plenty of times my wailing about something sent my man up a ladder or even out of bed in the dead of night. But this was the first time I realized how intricately God had designed marriage and that even I had a role in his search to live out his manliness. Likewise, we learned the same of my role as a woman. No one can validate my passions and gifts like my husband.
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Dear reader, please understand I am writing on this matter only as a fellow-journeyer. We are still very much on the path to understanding and growing in our marriage and faith. Also, I am not a feminist turned toward submission – rather a wife led to her knees in prayer for her husband and marriage. By God’s mercy, He’s allowed me to see that my husband’s journey to becoming the man God created him to be requires just as much work on my part at his wife. My role is more than just to seek after who He’s created me to be as a wife. Somewhere in the midst of our individual journeys toward finding God, we’ll find the sweet spot in becoming one. Only then can He bind us together, better, and stronger.
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What a gift his masculinity is to our two boys. I’m grateful that he recognized the messages the world sent him as a young boy were not truth. I praise God for showing my husband the true meaning of manhood. I’m thankful for my sons and that God is using their daddy to show them what true Christ-like strength looks like. May they never wonder how unconditionally their Heavenly Father loves them because their earthly father has shown them grace and forgiveness as they grow.
Lastly, let me encourage you! If you’re in a dry season, if the journey for your husband’s heart seems bumpy, if the road feels long or maybe you’ve lost a bit of hope in your marriage or faith – remember the God we serve restores. He hears the prayers of a wife for her husband and of a husband for his wife. He is in the business for redemption. What a privilege it is to be able to pray for your husband on his journey!
Has God been showing you your role in your husband’s journey of faith? What revelations has he brought and what steps are you taking towards them?
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