How To Fall Back In Love With Your Child

Last fall was pretty rocky on the mom front. I’m not gonna lie, I wanted to run far, far away. Thus the impetus for this crazy little post, a hypothetical two weeks notice. Since then, I’ve been earnestly searching for deeper mother-heart fullness and a true love for my children. And I’m beginning to find it.

Knowing we each have our own paths to enjoying motherhood, I submit mine to you, hoping it will encourage:

1. Be Loved.

If you take away just one thing, take this: let God love you.

All those places where you feel you’re not enough – those are the places He wants to fill with His love. When we let Love in {because Love is a Person}, we can relax. In His presence, we can let go of everything else and just be. Just. Be. Loved. Beloved. Jesus said, “I’ve loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love… Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love.” {John 15:9-11, The Message}

If we don’t let Him love us, we’ll never have or give real love; our best efforts are a noisy gong, a clanging cymbal {see 1 Cor. 13}. So instead of striving to get enough love to give away, just remain within His love; make yourself at home there. Let Him love on you and teach you His ways, the very best way to love. His love softens hard hearts, promotes victims to queens, heals every wound, forgives every fault, leads to obedience. Love is patient and kind and all those things because God Himself IS love, and He is patience. He is kindness. He bears all things… He never fails. Get to know His love.

2. Become Love.

As we learn the ways of love first-hand, something happens. We become love. We are filled with love, yes, but even more, His nature of love becomes kneaded into our own. We are able to love as He loves because we are partaking in His divine nature {2 Peter 1:4} and being transformed into His image {2 Corinthians 3:18}. We abide in Christ, and He abides in us. That’s how it’s possible for us to be rooted and grounded in love, able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled up to all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:17-19). And out of that fullness, we are able to love our children with a love far beyond our own, a love that looks like Jesus, because it is Jesus.

3. Be a student of your child.

Study them: their personality type, giftings and callings, strengths and weaknesses. And give them grace for who they are. When they’re having a tough time, step back, tune in and ask God to show you what’s going on in their hearts. Ask Him to give you His vision for their lives – from the future, from their very best – and call it out. Pray from that place. Rejoice in who they are, who they will be, and who they’re becoming under your wing. Humble yourself to learn from the children and take your cues from the Lord.

4. Start a Love Dare

Think Joy Dare individualized to each child. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for about him or her. The color of his eyes, the tone of her laugh, the way she eats crackers, they way she says ‘crackers.’ Use gratitude as your weapon when you want to fight or flight. When his stinky shoes smell up the whole house, be thankful that he has feet, with 10 toes, that look like his dad’s. Be thankful that he can walk, that he’s alive. You’ll be surprised how the little things awaken your heart to find love in each moment. A grateful heart is the warmest host, the most comfy couch for Love to make Himself at home inside you. It changes everything. Be thankful.

Motherhood is hard friends. Let’s not let the difficulty of each day overshadow the deep love we have for our children. Press into Love and let him fill your heart to overflowing.

What are some of the ways you fall in love with your kids over and over again?

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