Each new year, I prayerfully and thoughtfully evaluate different areas of my life. While I don’t write out a list of New Year’s resolutions, I have found that January is a wonderful time to look at my current habits and goals and use the wisdom and truth of the Bible to assess them. A year or so ago, I was particularly convicted about one specific area: my use of social media.
I aspire to submit every portion of my life my Creator. He created me and He consequently has authority over me and I want to honor Him by submitting to the standard set in His Word. One of my favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 10:31, which reads,
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
Early into my walk with Christ, I had read this verse and been motivated to commit my life fully to the Lord and for His glory, but when I looked at my use of social media I was unconvinced that I was truly using it for the glory of God.
Social media can be a powerful tool. Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, online forums etc., can all be used as a means to draw closer to the Lord, to build up the body of Christ, and to encourage our friends or followers. However, it can also be used to wound, to tear down, and to destroy. {The ferocity of the so-called Mommy Wars has certainly been exacerbated by the careless and crude use of social media.} If we choose to use social media, then let it be for the glory of God. What that looks like will vary from person to person, but here are some general principles that I have found personally beneficial.
6 Guiding Principles for Using Social Media
{or how to Transform Our Online Presence this Year}
- Be thoughtful in how much time we invest in social media. I’m sure no one, on her death bed, will whisper with her last breath, “I wish I had checked out more recipes on Pinterest.” Are we missing out on the real world due to our preoccupation with a virtual one? Do we spend more time listlessly scrolling through our newsfeed on Facebook than we do in prayer or in the Word? Have sweet moments with our children been interrupted by a notification that someone has favorited our picture on Instagram? It’s wise to regularly reevaluate how much time we spend on social media.
- Be encouraging. One great benefit of social media is that it is full of opportunities to encourage and build up others. We can send a faraway friend a message telling her something that we admire about her. If we see a fellow mommy post a status update saying she had to take her daughter to the ER, we can let her know we are praying for her and offer to bring her family a meal. We can check in with family members who no longer live nearby and ask how they are doing.
- Be wise in what we choose to discuss online and what we choose to discuss in person. Some conversations are far more profitable when conducted face to face. One example of this is the biblical model of lovingly confronting someone. Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” The desired goal of biblical confrontation is reconciliation between us and our brother or sister in Christ. This is most attainable when done in person.
Confrontation via social media is, at best, a questionable thing to attempt. It is more tempting to be unguarded in our speech and give full vent to our spirit, which Proverbs 29:11 declares is the trait of the fool. The person we’re confronting can’t see our body language or hear our tone of voice, so we can come off as being abrasive or impatient. The haughty person can easily dismiss our words with a mere click of the mouse; the humble person may repent, but be wounded by our approach. In the end, social media is painfully effective if our goal is venting our anger or frustrations, but woefully inadequate if we seek to lovingly confront our fellow Christian of her sin against you. Instead, we can meet in person, embrace our sister-in-Christ, tell her how she has wounded us, and express our desire for reconciliation. It will be far more fruitful.
- Be diligent in guarding our heart against comparison to others, which can lead to discontent. God has uniquely gifted us and blessed us. He has uniquely gifted and blessed others. No two people are the same. I have a friend whose hair and makeup look impeccable all the time. Even after a lengthy labor during which she gave birth to her daughter, she still looked stunning. I have another friend who is incredibly creative and throws amazing parties for her sons. Yet another friend is an amazing artist and does lovely calligraphy. I can compare myself to these friends and grumble that God did not bless me the same way that He did them, or I can rejoice in how God wired and molded them and thank Him for how he has uniquely gifted me as well.
If you are on a friend’s blog or Facebook page and start to compare yourself to her, it is probably a good time to take a step back and check your heart. Preach truth to yourself. Remind yourself of your identity in Christ. God made each of us and designed us with a unique purpose. We don’t need to be like our friends to accomplish God’s will for our life.
- Be gentle in how we discuss controversial matters. Thoughtful disagreement can take place online, but it requires a spirit of gentleness. With every question or response, we must filter all our words through the sieve of Scripture. I have found it useful to meditate on two specific Bible verses before engaging someone in a potentially controversial topic. The first is Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” The second is Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Can we objectively look at our question or response? Even if we disagree, can we frame our response so that it is saturated with a clear desire for peace and for building others up? If not, perhaps it is wiser to remain silent. Our use of capital letters and punctuation can influence how others perceive our comments. Excessive use of capitalization, exclamation points, etc. can give others the impression we are “yelling” or angry.
- Be discerning in what we share and make truth our priority. As Christians, we are an example of Christ to others who do not know Him. Does Christ gossip? Does He slander? No, absolutely not. But I fear that we do, even inadvertently, when we do not concern ourselves with what is true so long as we have the opportunity to share something that supports our views or entertains us.
Perhaps there is an article that undermines the position of your least favorite politician, but is it true? Is it from a credible source? Who is the author? If we take even 30 seconds to research something before sharing it, we may avoid spreading rumors.
Or maybe a celebrity couple is on the verge of divorce and there is a juicy article on the matter. The allure to speculate on the private lives of public faces can be powerful and though their images may be splashed on the cover of every tabloid, it is still wrong to gossip about them.
Whatever we share, we must use discernment and thoughtfulness. Whatever we post, should seek to promote the beauty of truth.
This has been my most challenging article to write thus far. I wanted to write this not because of the times I have been wronged, but because I knew that throughout the years I had wronged others and wounded others due to my thoughtless use of Instagram and Facebook. I knew my heart, prone to wander from the God I love, needed to be reminded of these things. I suspected my fellow mommies and sisters in Christ would benefit as well.
We can bring hope to our spheres of influence – our friends, our families and those watching from a distance – by how we interact in this public forum. I hope you’ll join me in committing to use social media for the glory of our awesome and holy God.
Do you struggle with your use of social media? What are some boundaries you have set in place to make sure you are using it well?
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