I spent a good chunk of time this morning at my computer, researching “all-the-things-we-can-enroll-in-and-do-this-summer.” You know what I’m talking about – which church is having VBS which week, when art and music camps might be, when swimming lessons will be held, special programs at the library and the zoo and the movie theater … and the list goes on and on.
It’s a tension I find comes with each summer break – how much structured time do we need versus unstructured? On the one hand, I rarely had a summer growing up that was structured. We lived in the country, and most of my summer was spent swimming at a friends’ house, playing outside, or doing nothing particular.
Researchers tell us that kids who have unstructured time, or free play, are more creative, are better at problem solving, and do better in school. And these are all really great things.
On the other hand, a certain amount of structure maintains my sanity. I might go crazy without a few plans on the calendar.
I find I am drawn back to similar thoughts that I shared here at the start of last summer. What is my purpose in parenting? Why did I have a child in the first place? What is God asking me to pour into Henry’s life during the summer of 2016? What are the most important things {not just the good or the fun} that we should be doing now?
Proverbs 22:6 says,
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
I love this verse, but it begs the question “How do we start them out, and which way should they go?”
I think it helps to set some priorities that will of course, be as unique as your family. Here are a few of my priorities for this summer:
- To continue to develop character.
We can modify behavior all day long, but until we get at the root of what is causing the bad behavior, we won’t actually make progress. That’s where character training begins. When Henry throws a fit, I need to discipline him for not controlling his emotions, but I also need to examine what caused his outburst. Is he hungry or tired? Is he being greedy or selfish? What base issue do we need to visit {when things are calmer}? Summer is a great season to take more time with character building moments.
- To have fun and celebrate life just because.
I don’t want Henry to remember that mom kept the house spotless, or spent a lot of time on Instagram, or kept her email inbox completely empty. I want him to remember that we had fun, that I was interested in the things that interest him, and that I liked to play. He will only be five-going-on-six for this summer. This is my one chance to enjoy this age with him. I want to embrace every minute of it, and enjoy God’s creative beauty in creation.
- To find some structured activities that will advance my child’s interests and skills.
Even at his young age, Henry has particular interests and skills. He loves swimming, music, and being active. He is energized by being with friends {both established friends and making new friends}. I want to make sure we use some of our time this summer to help him develop and improve in those areas. Even though we won’t have structured “school,” summer is a great time to continue to work on those skills that kids love, and even those they may not {public libraries often have great literacy programs for the summer, and teachers aid stores have workbooks for various skill levels}. I want to take advantage of our extra time for these types of activities.
Summer with our kids is a blessing, not a curse. God has given us our children for a season to treasure and to steward. When we view this season with simple intentionality, our attitude about it will brighten with the hope of possibility for ourselves and our children.
How do you plan to use the summer months? What priorities will you set for your kids and yourself? Do you have any great tips for finding a balance between structure and free play over summer break?
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