My daughter came home from school this past week and announced to me that she was in the “green” spelling group. My reply was, “That is great sweetie, I love the color green.” But she continued, as her eyes filled with tears, “No mom, that is not great, the green group is the lowest group you could be in.”
She recognized for the first time that she was different. My sweet girl that was diagnosed with dyslexia a year ago will never be in the top spelling or reading group and I knew one day fighting comparison with others would become a challenge.
One of the constant battles our children face in this world is the temptation to compare themselves with others. It can be a physical comparison, an internal comparison; with gifts and abilities, or a material comparison of who has what. This comes in many forms but the root of it all is both a sense of insecurity, and false assumption that either God made a mistake or that He is unfair.
Comparison robs joy.
As moms, we need key scriptures {our sharpest weapons} to share with our children when they come to us with insecurities that stem from a comparison. My personal scripture trifecta for combating insecurities I’ve held onto for years and now rapidly share with my children in their times of need lie within:
“Do not dare classify or compare ourselves…this is not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
“Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘stop you are doing it wrong!’’’ Isaiah 45:9
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Weaved together, these scriptures spell out the gentle warning to first, fight the temptation to compare, second, to recognize that we were fashioned, perfected, and purposefully created by the Maker; and finally, the assurance that the Maker has a plan for the “why” in how He created us uniquely.
I hugged my daughter and allowed her to express her sadness to me without rushing her or trying to belittle her feelings. When she was ready, we gentled flowed through the trifecta of Truth. We talked about how God doesn’t want her to the look to the left or to the right…rather He wants her to look up and find joy in how He wired her brain. We talked about how the Lord fashioned her like a little clay pot with an internal and external perfection of His design. We talked about some of the amazing strengths the Lord gifted her with, and how He will mark out the path of her life with a passion and gifting unlike anything she could ever imagine.
Comparisons are inevitable in our fallen world, something our children will indeed battle, but equipping ourselves as moms with scripture changes everything. In a world that will try to make them feel “less-than” about their body, mind, and belonging… it becomes one of the most pivotal protections we can cultivate in their young lives: teaching them to look to their Maker.
What are your favorite verses for helping your child avoid the comparison trap and understand their beautiful uniqueness?
Dr. Megan Osborne
For more resources and support in leading your children towards a healthy view of food and body image, connect with Dr. Osborne and her books at shapedwithlove.com
This post appears courtesy of Dr. Megan Osborne, through a generous grant from FINDINGbalance, Inc. For more tools + an amazing community of adults finding freedom and balance in the areas of food and body image, check out FINDINGbalance.
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