While I have never actually read Emily Post’s book of etiquette, something tells me that there is not a section that specifically addresses how to react when you see your gynecologist in Target. Without clear guidance on the topic, ladies have to wing it.
I work in a smallish sized town of about 62,000 people. I have been in practice for 7 years and have delivered over 1000 babies. I can’t go to Target without seeing at least 3 people I know. Make that 10 people, if I am wearing Yoga pants and no makeup.
When I see a patient at the store there are various responses:
1. Uberexcited
This patient will see me from a distance, her eyes will light up and she will immediately race over to see me. As she’s racing past the motor oil to reach me, I rack my brain to remember some detail about her. Hopefully I can remember who she is, but rarely her actual name.
She will exuberantly proclaim how I have improved her life by fixing her most recent gynecologic problem. Then after a couple of minutes she will ask, “Thanks for curing my cramps, but now I’m having this discharge that’s kind of green and chunky, what could that be?”
Now usually my kids are in the cart, so I have to answer the question the best I can, without scarring my 8 year old for life.
2. The horrified
The horrified patient will see me from across the aisle. Our eyes will meet. I will smile and say hello. Her eyes will get as big as saucers. She will then awkwardly dart to the nearest isle, even if it’s the adult diaper section. She would rather be there, than to see her gynecologist in public. She will never mention this encounter to anyone.
Please note, horrified patient, that I see AT least 35 vaginas a day. I do not remember what yours looks like.
3.The normal
The normal patient will treat me like a regular person. Say hello, with a smile, maybe make small talk and be on her way, as you would with any acquaintance. They will be kind enough not to judge me on my screaming 2 years old or disheveled hair. If they are really awesome they will introduce themselves to my husband and kids, so I won’t have to guess their name.
There you have it Ms. Post, feel free to add #3 to your next book of etiquette. Yes, just treat me like a regular person. Don’t run and hide, but don’t ask me about your nether regions in public either.
What would you do if you saw your OB/GYN in public?
Ha! Ironic that I just saw your post on Facebook after I had gotten home from Target where I had a 35 minute conversation regarding pregnancy, breastfeeding, car seats, and strollers. I happen to be a pediatric office nurse and a complete stranger and his wife stopped to ask me about baby car seats and strollers. I happened to be browsing the baby aisles (without my baby) and I apparently had a friendly face. Of course, I felt compelled to help this sweet couple (who are expecting their first in December)figure out the ropes, but it didn’t take long for them to ask why I knew so much about laws for babies/car seats and the AAP recommendations for when to turn the baby forward-facing. So, once they knew I was a pediatric nurse who formerly worked labor and delivery, I was grilled like a hot dog! 🙂 I told my husband it was my “divine appointment” of the day. Usually, my patients who saw me in public were super normal, but today I found myself talking to this Asian man and his wife about the pitfalls of breastfeeding – like cracked nipples and why I love Lansinoh Soothies and Medela Lanolin – in the middle of Target! 🙂 Maybe there needs to be a category for strangers who feel like they can ask you intimate details because they’ll never see you again!
Although the embarrassment factor is extreme for a gynecologist, I think any sort of professional has to deal with this. People are always stopping my lawyer husband to ask for legal advice (everyone has a cousin in jail or a sister with a contested traffic violation or a property rights argument or something).
And my mom, who worked in a gym and taught nutrition classes, could not go to the store without running into her students, who took it upon themselves to analyze the contents of her cart. Heaven forbid if the nutrition teacher were buying junk food! She always felt the need to insert a disclaimer about having teenage children–it’s not mine, I swear, I’m just holding it for my son.
So I empathize with you, Dr. Rupe! ^_^
You made me laugh over your description of The Horrified. It is really very disrespectful of them but I know that things like that really happen.
Lol! I’m glad I’m the normal type who would say hello and introduce myself!
I have a very good rapport with my Ob/gyn, at my 6 week followup after delivering my son she actually said “Well hopefully I’ll run into you around town sometime.” Made me feel very at ease, like she wouldn’t mind at all seeing me in public. I feel the same. 🙂
It wouldn’t have been awkward if I hadn’t been instructed to be on bed rest due to pre-term labor.Thanks for letting me stopped by.
Thanks for the laugh!
I saw my OB when I was visiting a friend at the hospital. It wouldn’t have been awkward if I hadn’t been instructed to be on bed rest due to pre-term labor. I knew I was in trouble! Thankfully, she just smiled and waved when she saw me. But she gave me the “what for” at my next appointment. 🙂
Ha! I have caught people out at the store who were supposed to be on bedrest as well…. that could be an entire new post 🙂
Oh my gosh, this is funny! I needed the laugh tonight – THANKS! 🙂 I saw my OB out shopping once, but it was from a distance and he was with his wife… didn’t think she would want random women coming up to chat with her husband!
“I see at least 35 vaginas a day” – that should be on a t-shirt.
I love your blog, it’s so interesting to hear how things are from your end. I’ve seen my OB in public a few times, but I’m sure she didn’t see me 2 of the 3 times. I didn’t know whether or not to approach her at first because I thought she might not want patients coming up to her all the time and I wondered if she would really remember me (she delivered my stillborn son and then I saw her for 2 miscarriages after that, so those circumstances may have helped me be a bit more memorable). Then she saw me, was friendly and we talked for a few minutes about what we were buying (at Home Depot) and that was that. It was nice.
Thanks Dana. I just checked out your blog. What a journey you have had. Congrats on your baby girl due in August! Praying for a healthy delivery.